Application to discedo
Name: England, or Arthur Kirkland.
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia
Timeline: Modern Day, 2011
Canon Resource Link: For England, and for Arthur.
What more is England than the personification of his country, his people, and above all, loneliness and bitter regret?
It sounds like a sadder conclusion than it actually is, but given the general history of England, it isn't as far-fetched as it might seem for the seemingly brave Brit with the 'stiff-upper lip' resolve. The youngest of the British sibilings (next to Northern Ireland, anyway, but who cares about him), England was too young to be well affiliated with the native Britons, did not experience as much Roman influence as his siblings did and was moreover a product of Germania and the Angles and the Saxons than anything else. The fabled King Arthur, who Arthur probably was named after/took his name from was actually Welsh, fighting the invading Anglo-Saxons, or really, just the English.
His forced union with Ireland proved to be unsuccessful, and though he's still the United Kingdom with Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, all unions were forged out of necessity and none can be assumed to be friendly. At the same time, the British, or the English, definitely don't consider themselves to be 'European', as they are proud to be British, proud to be anything but continental. This leaves England in an awkward place between not fitting in with the Europeans and not being liked by his immediate family. Oh, and, well, the majority of his colonies don't exactly think he's sunshine and roses either, and even his closest alliance, Portugal, has experienced the rough, uncaring side of England many times.
So, yes, England's the lonely sort.
And because of this loneliness, he often adapts a realistic approach to life. He sticks to what is proper and to what is morally right and acceptable. This is of course a façade, and most of the older countries know better than to accept England's newfound humility and manners as an integral part of his being. It doesn't take too much to peel away the gentlemanly inclinations to reveal an acerbic wit and fiery temper, (Hell, just looking at France might cause that), but the point is he tries to appear dignified despite how the other nations might tease him.
They do tease him quite a bit too, because everyone over the age of two-hundred knows full well that England was a ruthless pirate, and a blood thirsty soldier on the fields. And even those who knew him during the Victorian era, the supposed height of his gentlemanly refinement, were able to see his vicious and unrelenting colonisation and horrible treatment of his close friends during that era. (British Ultimatum, anyone?) He was also very quick to jump to the offense, picking fights with everyone from the Boer Republics to the Chinese to the Russians to even the Union in the American Civil War. Honestly, his polite and refined front is pretty transparent, despite his delusional perspectives regarding it.
And beyond his rough inclinations, Arthur is insane. He is either completely insane because he can see magical creatures that no one else can see, or he's insane because said creatures have homicidal tendencies that Arthur thinks is cute or funny. Boasting many gothic historical sites, England could be considered a haunted country, but he's certainly not easy to scare. He responds to ghosts, ghouls, and all other haunts with the same calm resolve he does to any of his other mythical creatures.
But there are a few he doesn't like. Like America's awful little alien. Who is in fact an alien in his mind, but he still doesn't like it or particularly care about it.
And mentioning America, the boy played a big part in his life. He holds a lot of fond memories of the nation as a boy, when America was the 'new world' and he was America's older brother. When he was vying for America's attention against France, he thought all hope was lost because France had kindness, compassion and good food to offer America, while he had… nothing. However, for whatever reason, the boy ended up picking America over France and giving England some sort of (false) hope that he was actually wanted by someone. A lot of the fond and sweet memories England has of America are exaggerated, as he wasn't around for him nearly as much as he thought he was, and he tended to be oppressive. Still, it's one of his major regrets. And America's War of Independence was one of the biggest blows to his ego he'd ever received, and helped drive home the point that no matter what, England would be alone.
So as for today, he's rather haughty towards America. But America's also one of the people that's able to get to England very quickly, and he often drops his reserved disposition to fight with America over the silliest things. He's still of the opinion he can insult America but America can't insult him, which never holds up very well.
But he doesn't hate America, even though America makes him furious. He comes pretty close to admitting something pretty deep to America once when he thinks he's dying, and actually says he doesn't hate him, so it's clear he feels some sort of affection for him.
Plus America is the only one who ever ended up liking his food. Not at first, of course, but after a while, he pretty much ruined America's tastebuds. (Hello, McDonald's anyone?) And everyone should know that the fastest way to England's heart is complimenting his freakishly awful cooking. It's not just that he burns things. It's that his cooking is vaguely poisonous and actually makes Prussia faint.
He's pretty impressed by any cooking. It's shown once that he's dining with Austria during a war, and he mistakes simple countryman's food for fine cuisine. Needless to say, if there's any cooking out there that he admires and envies, it's probably France's.
France is one of the major points of irritation in England's life. He's tried to rid himself of the pesky European nation more times than he can count, and he probably wouldn't have hesitated to kill him had he been able to, but at the same time, England has a weird amount of respect for France. There's definitely an element of avarice in England's being regarding France, but it goes beyond that as he admires France's clothing, style and cooking. There might have even been a chance that the two of them could have been close allies had France not been such an unbelievable bastard to him.
And that can be traced back to Charlemagne and Offa: the first alliance England ever had with another nation was France, a trading pact forged between France and himself in the 800s in hopes of thwarting the Viking conquest. (It didn't work.) Still, it was clear that they had a friendship early on, that is until France conquered England in the Norman Conquest of 1066, and continued to rule with the Plantagenet line until the 15th century. Naturally, this caused resentment to build on England's side. From the Normans through the Plantagenets (and especially the latter!), England was tainted with French culture. The nobles spoke French, the trends set were French, and quite obviously, his kings were French.
Then England started the Hundred Years War. (Hundred and Sixteen Years War isn't quite as catchy, you know?) Which really helped solidify the permanent rivalry between the two nations that is still firmly in effect today. It became sort of a running gag between them to join any nation fighting the other just so they could have an excuse to fight. This sort of ended with the Entente Cordiale of 1904, but they'll always be rivals at heart.
Still! When the two nations are fighting each other and a third party tries to get involved, they're very quick to team up on said third party. It's a strange phenomenon really, and they're also quite prone to gossip. Another interesting point about England is although he claims to be a gentleman and is disturbed by the sight of France naked, he's even more of a pervert than the French nation. In fact, once, France tried to give the title to England, much to England's distress.
But America and France aren't the only countries England dislikes. He has no real keen feelings for Russia, who he dislikes for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, because he's creepy and seems to be more versed in the realm of magic than Arthur is. And two, because he never liked the Soviets, was fighting the Bolsheviks before America ever had a disagreement with Russia and knew the big-boned country was a bastard in the 1800's when he engaged him in the Tournament of Shadows.
He also tried to curse Germany during World War Two, as he is of the (delusional) mindset that magic is both a powerful and viable weapon. He doesn't like Germany, still, nor does he like his brother, (partially because he helped dissolve him/Churchill never liked Prussia?) and because Prussia sort of insulted his cooking.
He actually gets along pretty well with Japan, and enjoys the peaceful mindset of the Eastern country. There might be a bit of resentment towards Japan for the Asian nation taking one of England's dishes and improving upon it, but it's not a significant grudge really. It's always a pleasure to stay over Japan's house, as his country seems to boast so many interesting mythical creatures.
And mentioning that, Arthur is able to see and comprehend the mythical creatures of other nations. Although others have deemed him insane, there is a possibility that he's actually able to see the creatures he describes, as once he even was given a magical cure from a creature that could treat any ailment. In addition to handling magical creatures calmly, England actually seems to think the idea of the apocalypse is quaint. It isn't so much that he's not afraid; he just doesn't think it's actually going to happen. When he was little, he and France thought that the world would end at the turn of the millennium. He let France rule him for a day because of this, only to find out the next day, the world was still around.
A terrible insomniac, England tends to fall asleep during meetings. It's never revealed what he actually does with his nights, though given his proclivity to run around, drunk out of his mind, there might be a very reasonable explanation why he can't seem to stay awake at meetings sometimes.
He fancies himself to be a fantastic soldier and spy. He can adapt disguises and manages to look very good, he was even able to pass for a suave Italian once. But the second he opened his mouth, his British culture shone through his disguise and his plans were foiled. Luckily, even though he was captured, England is a determined individual who is hard to contain, and he's pretty good at escaping even the toughest of all situations. He managed to dig his way out of jail a few times, even though he had to eventually be rescued by America.
Blessed with a unique sense of condescension, England is often times unbearable haughty and seems to hold on dearly to his (mostly unwarranted) ego. This in turn causes him to be judgmental and unpleasant towards others, insulting and critiquing other people unnecessarily, often when he has no room to talk. (There's a reason he's the perfidious hypocrite!) Although he seems to think this attitude makes him revered and respected, it usually just serves to distance him from the people around him and leaves him lonelier than he was to start with. But he's too proud to bring himself to adopt a sense of humility.
He's pretty far from pleasant company anyway, with his pessimistic and even cynical perspective on life. He tends to think situations are hopeless before he's really considered them, and enjoys spreading his misery to others. It's not something he realises he's doing, nor is he playing up his pessimism to be dramatic, it's just his honest perspective on life. If comforted upon it, he would claim he was holding a realistic attitude on life and deny his perspective to be abysmal in any fashion.
The poor thing tries, he really does. But he's about as empathetic as a frozen pinecone, and due to his aforementioned condescension, he's certainly not understanding of the difficulties of others. Even when someone comes to him with a serious problem, he'll often refuse to offer his help either or of pride of his inability to really feel properly for his fellow man. (Or country!) Sometimes he tries to ask people to be closer or be more friendly to him, but he just ends up coming off as awkward or his attempts are ignored as it could be seen as a strange inconsistency in his normal outward behavior. He's also incredibly obstinate, which further distances himself from people.
Also, although he's pretty unpleasant in most regards, he does have a pretty wicked sense of humour. It's a little cynical, but although he's mostly unappealing in most aspects of his life, his dry wit can be slightly endearing.
Powers & Abilities:
♚ - Magic
He does seem to have some grasp of magic, whether or not this often backfires on him is a different story. He can summon the forced of
♚ - Prolonged lifespan
Though not explicitly referred to, since he has been alive since either the double or triple digits C.E., England definitely lives longer than the average human. Whether or not this comes with immortality has not actually been established. Countries can die, (such as Rome), but then again, they don't really seem to fully go away, coming back to pester people.
♚ - Excellent fighting skills
Being that he's served in every war his country has ever engaged in, England has seen his fair share of battles and participated in enough altercations to be quite skilled in the art of fighting. His navy was the very best in the world, and he's rather talented when it comes to employing the dirty tactics of his pirate days.
What items will they be bringing with them to Discedo? An old postcard with the famous motto of "Keep Calm and Carry On" on it and a small beaten up copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Another person telling him to tighten his belt, another person telling him he wasn't doing things quite right, another person telling him his country was doomed and yet another telling him there was no tomorrow.
Ah but this was just a typical day in parliament. Frenzied conversations, standing up, sitting down, people talking over each other and nothing of any real value being accomplished. Three times Arthur had managed to nod off for a period of ten to thirty minutes, only to wake up and find the conversation hadn't progressed at all. It wasn't that he was surprised by this revelation, rather that it irritated him slightly as his people seemed incapable of accomplishing anything. Yes, he was aware the world was in the middle of a financial crisis, yes, he knew that the Euro was failing and that the Union was bursting at the seams. He had the other countries to tell him all about that. So why, pray tell, did he need a good lot of older men who thought they knew everything about the world to tell him the same thing three times a day?
Greens peered over at the edge of the room, lids sliding closed over them as he swallowed and tried to ignore the buzzing voices about the room and the ringing of possible tinnitus in his ear. No, hang on a moment, that shrill squeaking wasn't the tell tale signs of a disorder (in his most humble opinion), it was a certain small-winged flavoured animal he had grown so fond of in recent years. A smile graced Arthur's features for a moment, though upon realising where he was and who might be looking on, he raised a hand to rub the friendly expression away.
"What're you doing here, mint bunny? You might die of boredom if you stay too long." murmured Arthur. It wasn't that he didn't have the patience for inane tasks such as meetings, it was just, well, he didn't need to be lectured by people many a generation his younger. He blinked a moment, large brows twitching as the little animal before him seemed to say something to him.
"Oh no, I'm quite focused actually. I will have the papers they will undoubtably request of me in by noon tomorrow, and I am listening, I really am." said Arthur. "Say, would you happen to know anything about where Tinkerbell ran off to? I hope she hasn't gone back to Scotland, he's not exactly a good sort of person."
Wrapped up his own discussion, England had failed to notice the MP next to him casting him a strange glance, and was only alerted of his attentions when said gentleman cleared his throat. Casting a glance over at the elderly man, England pursed his lips.
"Is there a problem, Mister Kirkland?" asked the gentleman, (Brown, was it?), slight doubt etched into his features. Blood pooled in England's cheeks, as though he wanted to go off on a tangent about how he was talking to one of his mythical friends, this was not the appropriate setting to bring that up in. He smiled slightly, flustered.
"O-oh, um, n-not at all, Sir, just uem, talking to myself. Taking notes, if you would." said Arthur.
"Do try to keep them a bit quieter, Mister Kirkland." said the MP before turning away from him. England offered a slightly apologetic glance at his flying rabbit, then motioned with his head behind him, murmuring, "I'll talk to you as soon as this is over."
Hopefully he could slip out after the meeting was adjourned without running into Brown. After all, it was a lot easier to shout at France or America for not being 'pure-hearted' enough to see his magical friends than it was to lecture a politician about it.
I can't say I was too fond of my mobile, and I already know I'm not going to be fond of this little device.
[ He's not completely technologically incompetent. He was more than accustomed to various technologies developed for wartime purposes, this wouldn't be too different. It takes a few more seconds before the screen flickers, revealing a man with an impassive gaze, eyes fixed on the keyboard of the device instead of the camera. ]
Well, quite naturally, to anyone that receives this communication, I would be most grateful for any answers that could be provided to me. I know this isn't England; I know every square inch of my country. And although I'd like to think this is France, I somewhat doubt I'm trapped in that horrid nation either.
[ And then the camera goes unsteady, as the island nation has decided it's high time to start moving. His eyes peer up at the sky, then to the side as he wanders over to a building. The soft clack of shoes against rubble can be heard as he was, and it can be assumed he's taking his frustrations out on the stones beneath his feet. ]
I won't jump to conclusions regarding what country has deemed me deserving of such a treatment, as very few of those countries are smart enough to arrange such an intricate punishment. America and Spain are off the list without a second thought. Tell me, dear listener, if you would, [ The movement ceases and the blond is seen staring at something in front of the camera. When he speaks, he's distant, detached, with only the slightest hints of curiousity affecting the fluctuations in his tone. ]
…wherever I may be, what happened here to create such an awful place? [ And then, staring back down at the little device. ] What country is this and what God have they forsaken to deserve such destruction?
Well. [ He purses his lips. ] Prompt answers would be appreciated, but I will wait patiently for a response. [ And then, with a little fiddling around and a concentrated expression from the Brit, the feed drops out, his image and the silence about him fading from the communicator. ]
Links: One for modern day, and one for some historical content.